Memories and milestones flood my heart this time of year.
Life presents us with a handful of milestones doesn't it? You know, those EVENTS that will forever be etched into your brain for as long as you shall live?
Memorial Day is that for me. It was May 1994, I was engaged and planning my wedding that was in 30 days. Amongst all the fun wedding planning I had also spent a year with doctors looking for answers because I wasn't feel myself and KNEW something was off. After PLEADING with my doctor to listen to me (only 21 years old yet knew my body was communicating something to me). Doctor was a bit hesitant although he FINALLY heard me and ordered an MRI, among a handful of other tests. During the MRI, the whispers between the radiologist and the tech told me my heart was right.
The doctors office called within an hour and asked us to come to his office as soon as we could. My Mom was beside me the whole time and an anxious fiancé, we all were a bit uneasy and unsure. It's weird to describe but I also felt this immense sense of peace and readiness for the news because it was the “not knowing” that had me feeling all upside down. With this news, we had information and a path forward. The doctor informed us I had a brain tumor and I was in surgery in less than three days. Friday May 27, 1994/Memorial Day Weekend I was in the care of my brain surgeon now. My bridals were scheduled for the following week but with this news we did them the next day, EVERYTHING moved quickly. So much grace and support was available from all of the hearts in my circle.
I recall so many intricate details of those days; watching the doors close as they took me back and my family standing there. Their faces etched in my memory. I remember the surgery room, the faces of my loved ones seeing me as I came out of surgery, the 10 days in ICU addressing my wedding invitations, the family and friends who came to see me. I also remember the bruises on my temples and my chest from the procedure among a million other memories that flood my mind this time of year. The tumor was benign and removing it was successful.
Do you know we have ZERO pictures of my face because I would not let anyone take any. Nor would I allow any mirrors in my reach. My sweet family obliged my crazy requests and were so attentive and supportive. Which I fully regret now not having any pictures.
My Mom suggested I push the wedding out a few months, to regain my strength and give me some much needed overall healing time. I was young and stubborn and so sure that the PLANNING was the thing that was keeping my spirits up and I wanted to keep the June 25th date that was quickly approaching. My Mom just wrapped me up in so much love, never pushing back. She was such a quiet pillar of strength for me just as she had always been (and still is!).
The days of recovery were a whirlwind and the wedding was 28 days later, it was beautiful, and fun … a big, beautiful celebration! We were surrounded by so much love and happiness. I will admit I was physically and emotionally TIRED, and I was also floating on clouds of love, feeling OVERWHELMINGLY JOYFUL, GRATEFUL AND LOVED by all of it.
Doctors visits & last minute wedding shenanigan's filled my days as the wedding came closer and two days before our wedding they found a thyroid tumor. I told the doctor, “let's chat when I get back from my honeymoon”…
To be continued…
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