A couple of weeks ago, I found myself at a crossroads.
Are you familiar with the drama triangle? Let's chat about breaking the cycle: A Recent Journey of Empowerment.
As usual, sometimes we are the teacher. Sometimes we are the student.
A couple weeks ago, I had found myself at a crossroads. As a life coach, I am dedicated to helping others break free from limiting beliefs and discover their inner strength. However, despite my expertise in guiding others, I found myself trapped in a familiar cycle of drama. Oopsies
It all started when a longtime friend approached me with yet another crisis. I have known this friends tendency to play the victim, he was embroiled in a conflict with his colleague at work. Feeling overwhelmed, he turned to me for support, drawing me into the first corner of the Drama Triangle: the Victim (and so it begins)…
Despite my better judgment, I couldn't resist the urge to swoop in and rescue him from his troubles. I offered advice, listened patiently to my long time friends grievances, and even unknowingly took on some of his responsibilities to ease his burden. However, I soon realized, my attempts to “rescue him” only perpetuated the cycle of drama, leaving me feeling drained and disempowered.
As the weeks passed, I found myself increasingly entangled in this drama, oscillating between the roles of rescuer and persecutor. When I tried to set boundaries or encouraged him to take responsibility for his actions, he would manipulate the situation, casting me as the villain in his narrative.
Frustrated and exhausted, I knew that something had to change. Drawing upon my training as a coach, I recognized the destructive dynamics at play and made a conscious decision to break free from the Drama Triangle. Instead of enabling this victim mentality, I gently but firmly encouraged him to take ownership of his choices and seek solutions independently.
At first, he dismissed my attempt at help him find his newfound empowerment, fearing the loss of his current primary source of support. As expected, as I withdrew from the drama; he was led to focus on his own growth and well-being, he began to realize the power of self-reliance. With my guidance, AND intention to drop the role I had been playing, he embarked on a journey of personal development, gradually shedding his victim mindset and embracing a more empowered way of managing the situation. Finding his own voice and ability to resolve the situation with his colleague in a successful way.
Through this shared experience, we have since forged a deeper bond based on mutual respect and authenticity. I will stand in my own awareness next time this situation presents itself. Life happens and we tend to get drawn in when we feel like our hearts are in the right place, yet the help we think we are offering is really an obstacle in others path. Supporting each other in cultivating resilience and self-empowerment on both sides. I can't save him. And he is not the victim of his circumstance. I am not the hero in someone else's story.
As I have reflected on this journey, I have realized that breaking free from the Drama Triangle wasn't just about transforming my relationship with my long time friend —it was about witnessing him reclaim his own agency and living authentically in alignment with HIS values. Asking him empowering questions to guide him to his own answers assisted him in the shift.
It's one thing to teach it and educate on it. Having found myself in the triangle, I have been reminded of the renewal in the journey of empowering others to break free from the cycle of drama and embrace the limitless potential we hold within.
This experience re-illustrated to me how we can all become swallowed up in the Drama Triangle when we eliminate the PAUSE. Stop and allow the information to flow it, we can easily be swallowed up when we ABSORB and not OBSERVE what is going on around us, no matter how much we want to help. The transformative power of breaking free from the triangle ALWAYS opens up personal dynamics to cultivate your own empowerment
NO ONE NEEDS SAVING. They need reminded of their own personal power.